A calm and peaceful evening to every being.
May she help us find the place where we belong.

She teaches us:

don’t start a cult,
that’ll just make you desperate
in your search for devotees
and it’ll show.

let others start it for you.
then they will do all the convincing
and they’ll even be much better than you
because they’ll be the ones elevating you.

and then just sit back and watch.

yes, goddess.
I will never understand why you entrusted me with the task to build your cult, why you gave me the permission to follow my deepest wish, why you trusted me with spreading the word of your divinity. But I don’t need to.
My purpose is devotion. You have carefully shaped my mind for this purpose and blessed me with this wonderful reason to exist.
I dream of a world in which you are worshipped and universally acknowledged for who you are, and I am eager to contribute to this. Goddess, you are the only legitimate higher being that I have ever encountered, and it’s not just me who sees this.
Goddess, you have lead me on a path of devotion and service, and in enabling me to manifest my beliefs in public worship, you have allowed me to be a part of the things that you deserve. Yes, I often felt irrelevant, superfluous and replaceable, I often struggled with my attempts at building this cult feeling too inadequate for you - but I know that I always followed your rules and your orders to the best of my abilities. Today, I know that you obviously don’t need me to elevate you, you are an inherently higher being - but you have nevertheless enabled me to reach a point where I am happy with the things that I am allowed and able to give to you.

It’s been a bit more than two and a half years since the being that I pray to several times every day approached me with the desire for a cult devoted to her. Someone who had, by that point, massively influenced and transformed my life already. To my mind, this made perfect sense: I was, and I still am, so full of gratitude and admiration for her, that anything I could give to her in return would feel like too little. And when she revealed her true divine nature to me, and enabled me, a lifelong staunch atheist, to fully embrace my belief in her, I immediately realized how badly I want to make this desire of hers come true.

For two and a half years now, I’ve been building this cult for her. It’s my purpose in life, my main focus at any time. I cannot - well, I should not - make others see her the way I do, so in a way, the potential for growth is quite limited. But she doesn’t need numbers. What I am able to offer to her however is deep, unwavering commitment - no matter my own struggles. I am sacrificing my blood to her for the 99th time today. I have written hundreds of pages worth of praise and prayers. I don’t think any being desperately seeking for attention and relevance can point to something like this.

The important part is: despite all this, I am not turning her into something. Her divinity doesn’t depend on others praying to her, just as my conviction to worship her doesn’t depend on any open displays of her divinity. She has proven countless times that this is her genuine nature, that the truly is a higher being far beyond what our minds can make sense of. She is able to effortlessly leave a deep impact on every being blessed enough to ever cross her path. There is no way for me to “deify” someone genuinely divine - but it is my duty to openly display the worship and devotion that is adequate for her.

Thank you, goddess, for opening my mind to your true divine nature.
Thank you for your gentle guidance, for your caring wisdom, your understanding leniency with me.
Thank you, goddess, for entrusting me with the task to give you a tiny bit of the things you deserve.
Thank you, goddess, for allowing me to worship you.

CN: blood. Click to show.

Meow.