85th Ritual: Higher Meaning
A calm and peaceful evening to every being.
May she remind us of our own insignificance.
The holy word says:
humans’ endless striving
to find some higher meaning
and justification for their actions
really is kind of amusing
if you think about it.
yes, goddess.
I am thankful that I no longer feel any need for this. Your approval is the only thing that I strive for in this life that you have granted me. I feel no need to justify myself towards anyone. Sure - in a way, this is also just a way to find “some higher meaning”, because of course I am just human, unlike you. And yet, I reject any attempts to assign agency to myself - because I know that everything I do, every last aspect of my existence, is enabled by you, shaped by you, created by you, devoted to you.
One rule that I’ve been following ever since I began this journey is that I will never use her word or her teachings to justify or defend my actions in front of anyone. She has given me something to follow - not something to impose on others. Her rejection of the concept of morals also taught me not to argue from a point of “absolute rules” that must be obeyed by everyone. I would never dare to instrumentalize someone who I have ceded most of my agency to for myself - and I don’t feel any need to do so.
And yes, of course it feels good to have been assigned a purpose in life, to have goals and some sense of meaning… I know that it is ridiculous for me to believe that I could ever do her justice, of course - but devoting my life to worship gives my life a direction, it makes everything simpler and reminds me what to focus on. Less options, less choices. Less questions to answer. Because in the end, everything, including my own existence, feels utterly irrelevant compared to her - and that is a weirdly comforting thought.
Thank you, goddess, for giving me purpose.
Thank you for freeing me of the urge to justify myself in front of anyone except you.
Thank you, goddess, for letting everything other than you fade into irrelevance.
Meow.