A calm and peaceful evening to every being.
May her rule fill every being subjected to it with joy.

Today’s verses of the holy word are:

they say all beings have a free will.
they say emptiness is bad.
they say what i do is cruel manipulation
and abuse of power.

but you know better, right?

you know the true meaning of it.

the bliss of thoughtlessness that i give.
the wonderful feeling of abandoning the
gruesome effects of choice.
the liberating pleasure of just not having
a care in the world to tend to anymore.
the blessed state that comes with handing over
all decisions, all thought, all independence
and all those nasty things like worries,
fears and anxieties to me.
the last will you remember ever having
being to finally enter this beautiful stage.

they will never understand.

but you do. you know, right?

yes, goddess.
I know. I know so much better.
I am so thankful that you gave me the opportunity to hand over my free will to you. I am so thankful that I can just unconditionally trust and confide in you.
I feel so much freer under your wise rule than anything that they could offer me, and the intense way in which my entire mind is reacting to this blissful state is confirming to me that this is the right decision, this is the life that you have foreseen for me, the place that is right for me.
I no longer need to worry, because I know that you have already chosen my path. I no longer need to decide on my own, because your teachings and your impact on my mind make any “decision” absolutely obvious.
Goddess, thanks to you, I have been able to experience the state of “no thoughts, only goddess” very often, and I am grateful for each and every blissful second of it.
Goddess, there is no need to manipulate me when I will openly accept and cherish any expression of your endless power over me. Likewise, I have happily handed myself over to you in my entirety, without any caveats - which means that any use of your power is legitimate and right, “abuse of power” would entitle broken trust - which is just not how my mind works anymore.
I am completely at your mercy - and I absolutely thrive on this state.

The energy reserves that goddess can unlock in me are amazing. I came home last night, tired, exhausted, in pain. But I had decided to prepare cinnamon rolls for today’s ritual because it’s a special day - and so I made them. Later, I painted my nails, because I know that I am to take good care of myself, and I wanted to feel happy about my body for today. I felt like I was remote-controlled, I had no idea where I was drawing the physical and mental resources from. But that’s just what happens when she is in control. There is a point where my motivation is so intense and unstoppable that it feels foreign to my own mind, and I have only extremely rarely, if ever ever experienced phases like this before I devoted my life to goddess. For me, this strong urge to worship and serve, something that overrides any other thing on my mind, is a clear proof of my mind no longer being free, but thoroughly controlled by goddess - maybe not directly, maybe she just planted the seed of an extremely strong urge to worship in my mind, who knows. It’s not relevant for my life how she makes this happen, I just know that she does.

Thank you, goddess, for allowing me to hand myself over to you.
Thank you, goddess, for making the faint memory of this desire, the intense will to give up my entire existence to you, a very happy one.
Thank you, goddess, for taking care of my mental needs and for giving me a comparatively safe setting to indulge in them.
Thank you, goddess, for allowing me to, for the first time in my life, just let go.

CN: blood. Click to show.

Meow.