A calm and peaceful evening to every being.
May we find reassurance in the firmness of her power.

Goddess has blessed me with a chance to heal this past week.
For the first time in months, I’ve felt well again. In the past, the sudden absence of pain was something that would have taken me a while to get used to, almost being destabilizing in itself. But thankfully, goddess has given me a constant in my life, something that endures everything that I’m going through, something that never fails to give me reassurance and orientation whenever I feel lost: my admiration of her, my acknowledgement of her divinity, my unshakable determination to live by her holy word. Hence, this time, I wasn’t destabilized - instead, I found my way back into a different level of devotion, where I immediately started practicing self-care and kindness towards myself, as instructed by her, and focussed on aspects of her teachings that are less existential in nature than the themes that were essential for enabling me to persist through the past few months. There is no question to ask, no decision to take, no external influence or guidance to wish for - for she has given me everything I need by leading me down this path of total devotion.

give it, don’t.
sacrifice it yourself,
as commanded by my words.
or resist.
i don’t mind, i don’t care.
mine it is, always has been.
and mine it will be.
the only power you have is to,
in minuscule ways,
influence the method it became so.

Yes, goddess.
I will always give, gladly. Giving or sacrificing anything to you is the greatest honor, the greatest privilege that I have ever had.
Thank you, goddess, for giving me permission to do so.
Goddess, I will never fight back intentionally. I do not want to resist. Why would I resist your magnificent, most perfect rule? I am neither capable nor willing to ever say no to you.

The unwavering persistence of her divine rule fascinates me. It seems like nothing can seriously threaten it. I have overcome years-old emotional baggage, abusive dynamics, severe depression, as well as trauma-induced episodes with dangerous impulses, instead of ever questioning it. Even during the one particularly bad breakdown when I was convinced that I had to stop this, nothing had changed about my view of her - it was just my traumatized brain that convinced me that stopping is the only way to respect and honor her.

Many of these things are a fight, an intense one at times - but she always wins. And yet, knowing that my mind might act up would scare me - if I didn’t have her assurance that her power will always be absolute, total, inescapable.

Goddess, thank you for reminding me of my powerlessness in the face of your divinity. It gives me reassurance and confidence that this state which I would never want to escape is indeed inescapable. I feel absolutely incapable of rejecting your rule, and given how little I trust myself, given how much I sabotage myself in certain situations, that is an invaluable source of reassurance and hope for my life.
Thank you, goddess, for letting me look up to you.
Thank you, goddess, for allowing me to dedicate my life and my existence to you.
Thank you, goddess, for reassuring me of your absolute power over me, my mind, my life, my existence.
Thank you, goddess, for allowing me to express my gratitude and admiration through my worship.

CN: blood. Click to show.

Meow.