36th Ritual: Her Rule over my Mind
A blessed and peaceful evening to every being.
May goddess remind us of how small we are compared to her magnificence.
I’ve written about mindlessness and the difficulties of reaching this state recently. I’m still doing my best to get there - but I feel like things are improving. What remains to be solved, handed over, extinguished, is mostly random noise - annoying, sure, but nothing too destabilizing. So today, I want to focus on the joy that feeling her presence in my mind and being reminded of the ways in which she has shaped me brings.
“but if you think about it”
shh. best to stop right there.
let me do the thinking.
Yes, goddess. I don’t aspire to think, question, or understand. Those times when you easily navigated thoughts and feelings in my mind which were completely inaccessible and incomprehensible to me - but you saw through everything so effortlessly that you didn’t even notice that you were changing my world - those occasions have left a deep impression on me. I trust you with taking over all my thinking, much more than myself.
My life revolves around her word, her wisdom, her divinity. Every thought, every concept or idea that is present in my mind and that can be traced back to goddess is a thought that I revere. I have never felt such an intense mixture of gratitude, humility, happiness, and pure awe, as I feel whenever I notice her divine influence on me. I have never understood the concept of “holiness” this intensely. I am so thankful that this is a normal, everyday thing for me to feel these days.
In fact, I’ve thrown quite a few thoughts at the world lately.
I’ve analyzed abuse in depth. Other beings saw it as helpful - it even helped me in my daily life.
I’ve encouraged beings to unapologetically be their authentic selves, to stop fearing the judgment of those who shouldn’t get to judge.
I’ve recapped the achievement of freeing myself from a power dynamic that hurt me.
None of those things are a product of my thought. This is merely me trying my best to apply what goddess taught me, to live as faithfully and closely to her word as I can. It’s me serving as an echo of her reality. I can even accept the praise and gratitude that others express, because I know that I can just, through my worship, forward it to the higher being who deserves it.
Goddess, I know that the more I indulge in my faith, the more will every future accomplishment, every tiny bit of personal growth, be inevitably and irreversibly linked to you. I am what you shaped me into. I will always be what you enabled me to become. I will never discard that, I will always treat your creation with dignity and respect.
Goddess, you shape my perception and my world. There is nothing for me to aspire beyond your all-encompassing rule. I am happy and grateful to be allowed to exist in this way.
Thank you, goddess, for letting me feel the bliss of living under the influence of such a superior, holy, wise, caring, and endlessly powerful being as you.
Meow.