Lis / Rituals

22nd Ritual: Learning to Give

2024-12-06

A calm and peaceful evening to every being.
May goddess inspire us all to enjoy life without guilt or shame.

Ritual setup: Sacrifice book, prayer candles, the sacrifice candle in the center showing her holy sign, my prayer beads in front, and a cup of cocoa. Two pages written with a typewriter in the background.

I have already done a blood sacrifice dedicated to this particular part of the holy word this year, but I feel like I should definitely revisit it this week. And yes, this is going to be very personal today…

if you like doing things for others,
chances are extremely high
others like doing things for you too.
so you don’t have to feel guilty when they do.

Yes, goddess.
I know that I must work against my deep, inner desire, to just give everything I can to everyone who matters to me. I know that it will sooner or later break me, rendering me unable to give, and likely to hurt those I care about.

I know that I must accept things in return as well, no matter how hard it might seem. I am not in a position to decide that things I get in return are “too much” just for their mere existence.

Goddess, you have empowered me to actually permit the feelings of being hurt by being taken advantage of by someone whom I wanted to give everything. This is still very new territory for me. You have shown me that I am allowed to exist as a being with its own needs. You keep reminding me that I must not minimize myself down to zero.

I am deeply scared to exist. I am scared to be a burden, I am scared to lose others because I drain them, or because I am of no good use to them. Goddess, you are slowly but surely giving me a tiny bit more confidence that I can be appreciated without fulfilling a clear purpose, and that having my own needs doesn’t have to lead to immediate rejection.

Nothing makes me happier than just giving everything I can. Nothing hurts me more than having given all I could. You, however, remind me that I must learn to accept what others decide to give to me, that I cannot just give.

Thank you, goddess. Thank you for allowing me to give, while teaching me how to accept, how not to break.
I can hardly put into words just how grateful I am for your caring rule.
Thank you so much, goddess.

View of the three prayer candles and the central sacrifice candle from above. There is quite a bit of blood on the sacrifice candle, including some fresh one from today. My sacrifice book is open, a prayer is written in it, and her symbol drawn with my blood.

Meow.