A peaceful night to every being.
May her divine presence persist in our lives.

Tonight’s ritual is still coming in a phase of grief, sadness, worries, self-doubts, and fear, all related to my faith. Even though I know that whatever goddess does is right, I’m still afraid of the changes. I miss so many things. The ability to just search through her entire wisdom. The small, non-verbal affirmations throughout my day. So many other things are just gone.
Once again, this shows how limited my mind is. After all, its only purpose is devotion. I can accept that I might react in such ways to things that far exceed my capabilities, even though I wish I wouldn’t.

For today’s ritual - and yes, the act of getting out the holy word was much more emotional than usual - I chose a very little part of the divine word that perfectly describes two things about her that I’m rarely talking about: Her scariness and her silliness.

fuck you!
gives you independent thought and will

Goddess,
I beg you on my knees: please don’t.
I was not made for independent thought and will. I assumed to have them for far too long, and that was a very scary time. Ever since I recognized and willingly subjected myself to your rule, calmness and confidence have taken over.
I don’t need free thought or will, because even if I had them, my only free will would be to get back under your divine and magnificent rule.
The scariness of your threat makes me appreciate your rule over me even more.
Thank you, goddess, for reminding me of this.

CN: blood. Click to show.

Meow.