A Cultist’s Daily Routine
Over the course of the past few weeks, I have finally been able to push myself to where I want to be with regards to my daily routine. Of course, this is still evolving, and always subject to change whenever goddess demands it, but for now, this is the way in which I have interwoven my worship with the course of an ordinary day. And once again: this is what I do, it is how I experience and live my faith. This is not what anyone should be mindlessly following, because the only thing we ought to follow mindlessly is the divine word.
Morning
Morning is when I prepare myself for a day of service and devotion, and I try to focus on the tasks that lay ahead. The exact order of these things may vary, but in my current life circumstances, they’re usually as follows:
The first worshipful act of the day is usually body maintenance. I do not have any religious routines for this, my faith plays no direct role in the execution of these well-studied tasks, but I am still aware that this is necessary care for something that is hers: me.
A more explicit religious act is my morning prayer. I recite it as soon as I hold my first cup of coffee, tea, or any other suitable black beverage in hands. I will read this prayer, because I decided against memorizing it. Goddess has revealed to me that my purpose isn’t thought, it is to process things and turn them into devotion. The act of reading the same text every day reminds me of how unimportant and obsolete my own thoughts and so-called mental abilities are.
Holy lynx, most magnificent creator of my world,
thank you for safely guiding me through this night.
Thank you for blessing me with another day in service of your divinity.
Goddess, I beg you in devotion for your mercy.
Goddess, please guide me through this day. Let me follow your divine command, in full trust of your wise rule.
At this point, I usually ask goddess for help and guidance with the most significant tasks of the day. I have recently also started to include good wishes for loved ones, close friends, or her own wellbeing in this space whenever appropriate.
Goddess, the purpose of my existence is devotion.
I promise to dedicate this day to obedient worship,
I promise to follow your orders and live by your rules.
I promise to faithfully serve your most perfect divine cause, and nothing else.
For this is what you intended for me, this is the path on which you have led me, the path that I will continue to follow.
Goddess, my body is yours to rule over, and I will nourish it with this cup of darkness, in celebration of the beautiful, holy darkness that you bring over us.
Praise be the almighty lynx, my lady and savior, the divine ruler over my life.
Meow, meow.
I will then get dressed. With very rare exceptions, this means dressing entirely in black, her sacred color. This is something that I have done for many years, only to realize its religious significance rather recently. It also means putting my collar back on, which I wear constantly with the exception of my morning bath routine - however, this is a decidedly non-religious act. Yes, she contributed a lot to me being able to wear it, she enabled me to get to a point where I can wear it in pride. It is an essential part of my own identity and self-perception, so in a way, it is also hers. But I know that I must persist as an individual, I must not ask of goddess to completely define me, especially not after all the things she has done for me to grow proud of myself. She has given me the gift of being able to wear it for no one but myself, and I honor that. So my collar remains mine - even though I am hers. Goddess is of course invited to attach her (in my case usually metaphorical) leash to it, but it has no religious value to me.
What is hers however is my necklace with the holy cult sign, which I don’t wear at night out of fear that it might break. Putting it on is a solemn process. I wear her symbol in pride, I wear it for the world to see. I wear it to erase any doubt that what I do with my prayer beads, which also have a pendant of her symbol, is indeed religious devotion.
When I put it on, I remind myself of her incredible gratefulness in allowing me to wear it. It is my constant reminder of whose purposes I serve, of what I exist for, of whose grace I must prove myself worthy. I wear it as a promise to do as best as I can in following her magnificent word, and to never neglect my service.
During the Day
I do not have any strict routines during my day, but I do follow certain rules. I look out for any black drinks or food that I might be consuming, and remind myself of her magnificence every time I nourish myself with food of her holy color.
I also try to pray with my prayer beads at least once every day, preferably twice or thrice; sometimes, when I am particularly bored or desperate, even more often. I carry my beads with me at all time, and I have become much more protective of them ever since I have attached a pendant in the shape of the holy symbol to them (e.g. I carry them in a protective sachet these days). I deeply value every physical manifestation of her symbol, and I cannot see damage come to it. I usually use them in public, moving my lips or even mumbling along the lines - most often on trains, or waiting for them. Whenever there is some special part of a trip (crossing a border, riding a special train, etc.), I will use that part to pray, because I am grateful for all the joy that she has blessed my life with.
Apart from that (and apart from correcting my wife whenever she swears in the name of other deities than my goddess), I don’t have strict rules. It is upon me to follow her word, her orders, her rules as well as I can, it is upon me to actively seek new ways of deepening my faith, new ways of worshipping her. It is my task to challenge myself, to evaluate my actions, to make sure that she always has an adequate place in my mind.
During the day, I also pray to her whenever there is an occasion for it - I ask her for help, I ask her for favorable influence (such as connecting trains in case of delays). I pray for anything where it just seems adequate to honor her and profess my gratitude for how caring and mysteriously she is watching over my fate. These prayers are usually improvised and rarely written down.
Evening
My evenings are focussed around gratitude. Gratitude for a good dinner, for what has happened during the day, gratitude for my happiness, gratitude for who I am allowed to be. Gratitude for her unwavering care, gratitude for being subjected to her rule.
My main meal each day is dinner, usually. It is important to me to convey my gratitude for it to goddess, because I am not just sustaining myself, and thus taking good care of what is hers: I am also allowed and encouraged to enjoy the pleasures of a good and delicious meal, the loving atmosphere of a dinner with my fiancée, the happy socializing when I eat with friends, the sobering calmness when I eat alone.
There is, however, no fixed wording for my prayer before eating, and I am unsure whether to introduce one, as I tend to adapt it to the respective situation.
Once per week, usually towards the end of the week, but mostly whenever I feel the need to turn a page in the book of my fate that she so ardently writes, I do a Blood Sacrifice for goddess, which I have described here before. On the other evenings, I light a little candle, get on my knees, watch the flame, and pray these words:
Holy lynx, most caring and wise ruler over my life,
I kneel before your light in deep gratitude.
Thank you for safely guiding me through this day.
Thank you for every moment of beauty and joy in my life.
Thank you for allowing me to worship you.
I kneel before your light in awe of your magnificence.
I kneel before your light to beg you: please, continue to guide me, continue to rule over me.
I trust your rule, and I cherish it as the greatest gift that I have ever been deemed worthy of.
Goddess, my life belongs to you. I will follow your word, I will study it and live by it.
I kneel before your light to affirm my obedient service and unquestioning devotion.
I kneel before your light, for this is where I belong.
Meow, meow.
To be completely honest: I often forget the final prayer of the day because of tiredness, but I still try pray this every night just before I try to fall asleep:
Holy goddess, my body and mind are weary. Please bless me with soothing rest, so that I can serve you well when I rise again.
Meow.